At the time i was doing pretty well with girls. I had got myself the perfect poosay producing job – A tour guide for backpackers in Thailand and Laos boom! Im 24, living in a place most people only visit for holiday and have a company model set up bringing me hot young girls everyday from all over the world. Now i just said i was doing pretty well and i was, however its very important to know i had no game, really none, i was an average looking guy with a little bit of chat in a position of power (leading the tours) and the ratio was heavily in my favour, only a retard from planet of the apes would not get laid in this situation. However, I didn’t have the skill set to give me choice, i would take what was given to me. Most of the time because of the set up and dynamics i would get the hot one from the group but every now and then there would be some guy with charm that i couldn’t compete with or the hot girl was just not interested in this red bearded boozed up kiwi. Oh and if they weren’t on my tour meaning i would have to cold approach them, forget it. So you get the idea the set up was in my chode ass favour.
Tinder was also an access for me, surprisingly there were a lot of expat girls on tinder, mostly teachers living in Bangkok, hippy types working for NGO’s or the STD riddled bar girl getting rammed by the locals(fuck they disgust me, they think they are so cultured doing that) One day i matched with a cute as fuck Canadian girl, let’s call her Blue. Short, big ass, big blue eyes, dark long hair and young 21. Just my dish. We got chatting on tinder and it was great. We ended the conversation to pick it up later as i had to go out. Walking out of my room I bumped into her, she was staying at the same hotel. Awkward convo but i still manage to invite her out to the lady boy Mulanruj show in Chiang Mai( Fucken really good show, at the anursan market in Chiang Mai – Thailand) which she decide. Before we left she saw me with the group shooting the shit and running the cutter, social value through the roof. The next day i left with the group and we then continue to be text buddies via whatsapp of the next two months. At the time it was great having someone to text everyday. It was hot and heavy stuff, lots of cute pics, bikinis pics, dirty chat, sex talk, it was on! Finally after two months our schedules manage to cross paths again. I had some time off so we organised to meet south on one of the islands famous for the full moon party Koh Phangan. It was all set up, we even had a room booked together all i had to do was not fuck up.
She arrives just after lunch on the boat and I’m too keen, waiting to pick her up on my scooter. We swing passed the hotel to drop her bags off and head straight to the beach to talk for about 4 hours straight. Why? Because I’m such a nice guy and can talk to her like I’m her best friend because that’s how you get laid right!? The sun starts to set and we go to the markets for food then after that I’ve researched a nice private beach on the other side of the island (why take her 40mins away from the bedroom? idiot!) Once we are on the beach we have a few beers and i start to try seduce her. I actually have no idea what to do, all i remember thinking is kiss her. She’s waiting for me to make a move and this went on for a couple of hours until she suggested we go back. Sweet now I’m thinking she’s ready for sex and waits to get to bed. This was confirmed riding back, she had her arms around me and it felt so romantic… Anyway we get back and the room is two bunks onto of each other, she jumps up and go’s to sleep. Fuck what happened? Im doing some bullshit comfort talk and she mentions her mattress is really hard. “Come join me” she complies. Now I’m thinking its on, i ask her to kiss me, her response “no i don’t do that with friends” Nothing happens and i fell asleep thinking its ok because i have a week with her.
The next morning i wake up to an email saying i have to get back to Bangkok today as another tour guide is sick. Fuck I’m pissed off, all i needed was one more night and the bang was mine, absolutely gutted. I explain to her the situations and she’s ok with it** so end up taking her to a Had Rin hostel, the main beach on the island. It was a dead end street so when i went back passed the bar i could see the back of her and a dude standing a few inches away from her face on with his hand on her shoulder and she hadn’t even checked in. I felt real small and speed off in a hurry.
The bus ride back to Bangkok was 8 hours. I started to replay everything in my head, from the first match on tinder, to the meet at the hotel and more recently the beach stand off. Every little details i pondered over and the more i thought about it the more it became real. I was a chode with no game or capacity to seal the deal with the women i wanted. I even started to think about the hotties over the years that “got away” they never got away they gave up because i was such a pussy and couldn’t escalate. I happen to be sitting next to an older guy and he asked what was wrong. I told him and then started to cry underneath my sun glasses for the next 8hours. He must of thought i was a little bitch and you know what he was right. As the bus pulled into the bus station i snapped out of it and made a declaration. “When i step off this bus i will no longer tolerate my excuses with women, i will take action to get the women i want in life. I will not end up with a women because of my circumstances but because i choose her.” Something like that, and it stuck.
** What a surprise, would have been a relief for her to go get some alpha D